The Vomit Plane.

The Husband, the Three-Year Old and I kicked off our WorstVacationEver by flying  WestJet from Regina to Orlando on Christmas Eve.  By the middle of the Minneapolis to Orlando flight, the Flight Attendants had dimmed the lights and the Three-Year Old was sound asleep.

Then some poor sap two rows in front of us got sick.  All over the seat.  The Flight Attendant was horrified.  Thrown completely off balance.  She passed them one lonely tissue from her pocket. 

The mother in the row in front of us started to rant.  “After I smell it, I always get sick.  Girls, you’ll probably get sick too.  We’ll get them to bring us some ice.”  The Attendant ran for ice.  I quietly passed my pack of wipes up to the unfortunate couple.

It spread.  Across from us.  Behind us.  Someone tried to make it the bathroom, but didn’t.  The Flight Attendants whooshed from one end of the plane to the other, flustered and helpless.  When someone asked for a drink an Attendant said “We don’t have time to bring drinks.  People are throwing up!”

The lowest point came when a Flight Attendant came rushing down the aisle with a large green garbage bag.  She took it just past us, laid it out on the aisle on top of a ‘mess’, then taped it down with a roll of duct tape.  (The Husband suggests:  ‘Don’t try this at home’.)

When the plane finally landed, an Attendant used the loudspeaker to tell us:  “As you de-plane, please leave used air-sick bags under the seats.  Do not hand them to the Flight Attendants. “

I described this to a friend who’s flown to Orlando often lately.  “It must be wind currents from the ocean,” she said.  “People are always sick on that flight.”

Comments

[Maureen]

Hmmm.... I think I'll pass on Disney World. It just isn't worth the upchucking. Ron wins.

[Sally Tubello]

We're leaving for Orlando at the end of this month. And I think I may invest in hazmat suits after reading this. Yikes.

It was great seeing you at the banquet! I wish I had had more time to visit; are you doing any writer's workshops again soon?